A Cup of Zen.

I’m ashamed to admit that it’s taken me this long to understand that happiness depends on no one and nothing other than myself. Can you believe that I actually used to get angry at my husband, A, when he would sit across from me in our living room and laugh to himself over tweets he was reading? His happiness, and how easily it came to him, actually made me resent him!  I used to rely on events to make me happy – vacations, parties, dinners out. As a perfectionist I held high expectations for these events and was often let down in some way or another. A weekend getaway got rained on, A wasn’t as thrilled as I was for date night, no one started up a conversation with me at a party. What a miserable way to live – constantly disappointed. At her concert recently, Chantal Kreviazuk shared with the audience her father’s mantra that “life is dinner”. This statement has stuck with me and I’m trying to remind myself of it often. I used to conduct my life by always focusing on the next thing, either anxiously or with anticipation. I missed out on a lot of moments because of this. I failed to realize that what was happening right in front of me was what needed my attention most. I don’t know what will happen next. I don’t know how people will react. I don’t know what mood my son will be in and I can’t predict the weather. All I can be sure of is how I approach each of these situations. I’m really trying to give my focus to each moment and finding my energy and joy there. I’m sorry for all of the conversations I wasn’t present for. I regret the opportunities I failed to seize. I’m sad for the moments that passed by without me noticing. I’m very happy for second chances.


What do you think about the concept of “living in the moment”? Do you think mindfulness is a good practice for everyone or just certain types of people?


4 thoughts on “A Cup of Zen.

  1. I can relate to everything you’re saying and I am a huge believer in mindfulness and staying present vs focusing on past or present. While I believe in learning from past experiences and setting intentions for the future, I have come to understand that releasing expectation for a specific outcome is a true form of freedom. Finding Love and Gratitude in each moment can seem like a battle sometimes, but I agree with you that in the end they are the key to happiness 🙂

    Thanks for sharing! xox


    1. Well said! I like your point that there needs to be a balance with how and how often we focus on the past/present/future. I guess I’ve just never been great at any of them. You’ve reminded me of my need to establish better patterns of thinking when reflecting in the past and planning for the future.


  2. I too find it hard to live in the present. I am a thinker and a planner and it may be harder for types like us. I do agree that happiness is a choice. It depends totally on what we choose to focus on. It is also a battleground for me as sometimes I have to fight for it, as strange as that may sound. I think being thankful and counting your blessings is one key but there are other keys too.


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