Today was something of a miracle.
I went to the gym.
This is commonplace for many people. But not for me. It’s a big step for me. Because it is a moment I have been waiting for…for about the past 3 years of my life. To exercise…by myself…with my own thoughts…alone…quietly…by myself.
All it took were a few priority changes for me. And voila. The opportunity opened to start running again.
To be honest, picking up running again hasn’t been a goal for me until recently. When I realized the occasional walks I was taking were just not going to give me the results I was hoping to see in my post-two-babies body.
So I decided I would start to run again. I’m taking it slow, but already it feels so good to give myself this gift. Not because I have lost any weight or look any slimmer, but because it is time just for me. To feel good about myself. To do that thing I think I cannot do. To just be. I’ve decided I won’t even listen to music at this point. There’s already enough noise in my life. This is a time to just breathe. And run.
My 3 year old was in his morning preschool. My 14 month old played in the childcare facility this particular gym offered at a decent price. And I ran. Alone.
Before I left for the gym there were wooden blocks scattered all through the hallway, across the living room rug, and all around my kitchen. There were dirty dishes piled in the sink thanks to a broken dishwasher. Lunch wasn’t planned. A load of laundry hadn’t been thrown in the washing machine yet. And my bathroom was 2 days overdue from being cleaned.
But this was the moment to seize. For myself.
All those blocks and dishes? They’ve been cleaned up. Lunch? A box of macaroni and cheese. The laundry? I might do that next, or it’ll wait for tomorrow.
Either way, that run was worth it.