Those mornings that start like this, and your thoughts go something like “What’s the point of all of this?” As you follow the trail of clutter and dirty foot prints, cleaning one disaster after another. “Does anyone see me here? Does anyone care at all what I am doing? What AM I even doing? An educated, sophisticated adult filling her days with things a pre-teen could manage!”
On those mornings, remember this: that nothing you do is in vain. Even though there are no pay cheques or outstanding performance reviews, or simple thank-you’s most days, your work is Holy work. You have insight into what love really is – what unconditional love looks like in flesh and blood. And even when your little one has you crying tears of frustration, even when you don’t know how you will do another day of this, you will find a way through. You are stronger than you think. You are learning what strength actually is, and how little it has to do with your exercise routine.
If we let it, motherhood will help to release the lover we have been made to be. In the wiping of bottoms and snotty noses and letting those sticky fingers from God-knows what wrap around us, trying to hide our grimaces, we are getting acquainted with the ins and outs of this loving business. Oh how it will surprise us, the things we learn about ourselves and love. But it will amaze us, too. Of course we will never be perfect, but let’s applaud each small step we take on this journey. The moment we leaned low and asked our child to forgive us, the moment we wanted to scream but inhaled instead, the moment we chose a tickle fight instead of an argument. Let’s celebrate the challenge, celebrate what it is making us into. Warriors for love.
And when life allows us to step back from our struggle, and notice how much love we feel for these children of ours, that all of our worry and fears and protectiveness stem from this crazy strong indescribable love, may we choose gratitude. May we pray a resounding thank-you that in every cuddle, every 3 am feeding, every drive to the ball field, true love is being revealed to us. Let us sing a Hallelujah that we can experience this gift.
And if our imperfect hearts can have such deep love for our imperfect kids, then maybe, just maybe, we were made in the image of Someone who intentionally created us this way, Someone whose heart burns fierce for us, too. Maybe the love we have is but a reflection of this greater Love. Maybe we have been given crowns of honour, allowing us to see glimpses of what this Ultimate Love is truly like.
Maybe this can be the song over our days of monotony, that this is Heaven, right here in our very hearts and homes.